NewNew Time

well, this year's xmas eve and xmas were totally suck!! i meant it. i'd very hard days....

since we all made that day as a dot...which means everything will be start over.well, sometime i even miss the day... at golden gate.

3 months were a kind of torment for me, i just dont get it why this year i had such unsure and insecure feeling...perhaps i didnt rest well enough from summer. u know, it is fatigue indeed, well, is more like some kind of feeling what it is to be weary in spirit.

i remember before i had a conversation with d about 'trust'. or maybe it was an auguring...i didnt recall what's the conclusion though...lmao...but we found that in nowadays it's hard to believe someone, and we cant do anything with that, all we could to is to believe them until they hurt ourselves... sad, it is...its all about lie and betray,ppl do everything only for their own good, u can deny that, cant u? because everyday what u do, it for the same reason. it is cruel...yes, this is how life is , this is what we face every single day...ididnt mean im a negative person, i have my bright side, just the circumstances which just couldnt give u a break. do u feel this in the same way as i do? maybe sometimes, right? i miss the time i could talk about those stuff with my friends, well, now they leave, far away from me geographicallyforever, i suppose....

anyway, soon i'll leave too. i just hate they left earlier than me. i hate being the one who stay last. i hate to accept the fact which became a memory, and im still here. i hate when im passing by our place while im alone without u guys. it different to say, our friendship or more than that. meanwhile, im so so grateful, i had u guys.

there is always a 'goodbye'.

 im wondering if he will speak to her again?