i had my spanish class 3 times already. but i dont know if its a right decision. it reminds me about him.

obviously, i still care. though i let it go a little bit, yet not enough. i cried yesterday, i told myself, i should stop contact him, and i should tell him too, delete me from his contact. if i cant let it go, then i wont move on and i wont able to meet new one. his life isnt my concern anymore.

sally, be strong. be happy!

i should not let myself into this, i'd never handled it cool...

its pain...im waiting time to help me healing it.

God bless me next time get more love...

2011 has the hell of year.

ok then, here we see...

2011, mostly is good year to me.

1.i went to Spain, that's a big thing, one of my dream is acheived!

2.my very first album. it's pretty, i like how i look in this album.

3.my parents are healthy, and my cat is lovely, healthy as always.

4.no matter what, my work has been recognized by my bosses.

5. M. the timing was perfect, the way we met, the way we have been working things out...kinda dramatic....lol, now its getting better and better. 

6. D, firstly i through my package to him, and now we are having each other in a even better way. 

Above all, things i had done this year, im totally satisfied. im happy with what i achieved in 2011. of course, i had to thank my best family's fully supports and they allowed me to get things done in my way. 

2011 did me bad too. i made tough decisions, fight against myself...u know, its couldnt be worse. though some problems remain, just this year im tired, i’ll leave it to next year.

anywho, Sally, u did amazing job this year, keep working hard then!!

to M, im happy to have u!

2012 plz be good to me, thank you!

im not showing off here, just wanna feel better!!!(i hide some parts of our chatting history which was personal)

no matter what, its still feel good to have someone say' i love u' when u are feeling down

14:56:33
David
Sally
dont settle for just any guy
14:56:39
David
Sally
you are so beautiful and fun
14:56:43
David
Sally
you deserve the best
14:59:34
Sally
David
hahahaha

15:01:52
David
Sally
I love you soooo much you wouldnt believe
15:01:56
David
Sally
and I miss you terribly
15:02:11
David
Sally
I am so happy when you choose to talk to me online, and share these things
15:02:15
David
Sally
and ask my advice
15:02:36
Sally
David
its my luck to have u
15:02:55
Sally
David
u always say postive things to me
15:03:18
Sally
David
so patient
15:03:38
David
Sally
i meant what I wrote, love
15:03:54
Sally
David
and make me feel good about myself
15:04:00
Sally
David
and happy
15:04:12
Sally
David
thank you so much!
15:04:27
Sally
David
i know ive got flaws
15:04:52
David
Sally
we all do babe
15:08:29
David
Sally
gotta run
15:08:33
Sally
David
ok~
15:08:38
David
Sally
big kiss and hug for you
15:08:39
Sally
David
good luck~
15:08:40
David
Sally
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
15:08:55
David
Sally
thnaks - I have some important meetings today ;)
15:08:57
David
Sally
bye
15:09:11
Sally
David
rock the meeting, babe~
15:09:17
Sally
David
bye~XXX
15:09:22
David
Sally
I LOVE YOU
15:09:24
David
Sally
xxx

但是现在我很开心，很多过去自己看不开的事情，现在我总会多用一两秒，之后我就看开了。

我也会想想他，想想他的声音，想想他紧紧抱着我的样子，想想他的温柔。

渐渐觉得自己会很为他着想，想知道他睡好了没？有没有时间吃午饭？担心他晚餐是不是又一个人吃？

相信他，相信他说的话。靠着他的肩膀就会觉得很安全。

我的脾气，最近你越来越不听话了，这也日子玩high了，那么接下来咱就好好back to normal，ok不？

我的胃口，前段日子苦了你，这些日子里该补的也都补回来了，所以今后为了sally的体型，咱们还是努努力，控制一下，好不啦？

我的酒量，最近感觉你是越来越不给力了。。。心情会影响，但是咱还是得挺住！

sally, i know u made a tough decision. yet on the bright side, u are becoming more mature. u know what u want from life. so as soon as u make a goal, just go for it, be fearless. dont let meaningless things or person step on ur way of persuing happniess and life u deserve, ok? cheerio!

but here, im sorry to whom i had hurt.

i was selfish, all i concerned was just my own interests. i very am sorry...i know how it hurts. 

but im also lucky, u know, ive got my besties! had several special friends.

i used to had C, then i lost him...it was my fault...i shouldnt take it too personal, i was wrong, now im regret.

yeah, after all...i flipped...

then i told d first. he was happy for me genuienly, encouraged me persuing what im longing for.  what can I say...at this very moment all I need is support… I know it wont go easy, I know what im going to face ...obstacles... hopefully his charm can make me feel its all worthy, and he could beat all of them, protect me from suffering. Let’s give some light for it, shall we?    

Anyway, right now most thing D likes do to me, is showing off how good his Spanish is...im not jealous...annoying a little bit though. If he rlly going to tell him that 'ella es un gran besador' , I think im going to kill him literally, lol. Pure evil.

but me and d, u know...

“It’s always happy to talk to you”

“I am always happy to talk to you”

some words came into me,

"Too often we dont realized what we have until its gone; Too often we're too stubborn to say'sorry, I was wrong; Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts; and we let the most foolish thing tears us apart."

im feel bit scary...actually, i need more support. mainly from u, i think. or maybe we both afraid.

Mark told me to be breave this time, but after he know that he is not in the country at the moment, Mark said i shall just give it up. 

he reminds me about dave. the way we met each other was quite simliar as how i met dave. though im pretty sure he is not D. He is more different....yet a gentleman! and his age reminds me D. i cant say it the most thing which captured me....

shall be brave this time? i think Mark was right about that he might not like young boy full of attention for chasing girls. he might concern about other things more...and or, he is just not into me....maybe i just think too much...i shall follow my feeling this time, at least 50% chance there. why am i so afraid this time? he is special...and makes me feel special...